How did you decide where to settle down with your family?
I’m stuck in a sticky situation that I really stress over often. I really don’t know why because the decision is one to be made any where from three to twenty years away. I still wonder and want to have a plan as to where I will settle down with my family.
My husband is in the military. Our parents were also in the military and we met overseas. His family lives in NM and mine in Ohio. I love my family. I love his family. I just don’t know where we will go once he’s either separated or retired.
So, I’d like to know how you made the decision or what you would do in my situation? I want to do right by my family. I also want to be there for my parents AND his as they age. Ugg, I know I’m worrying too much but I really want to have peace of mind so it doesn’t bother me anymore.
Thanks!
**This is in ‘Parenting’ because I believe it’s a big decision that parents can relate to. Most of the time in all of the other categories people just don’t understand. Thanks!
Both areas are very similar. They aren’t the best towns but they are where our hearts are. He has two degrees so finding work shouldn’t be too hard. It’s like we have to choose between our families. Which is more important? Neither, they are both big priorities after our own family.
Jdude. Yes, we will move around for a while. However, after he gets his retirement in 16 years or separates from the military we will STILL have to find a place to live.
My dad was US Military for 21 years. My parents still had to find a place to settle.
Create a video blog…instantly.
LuvMy2and1/2kidlets:
You need to look at your husbands career field and see where the best job market, housing and schools are. Those are the basics. My hubby is retiering in 3-4 years and we’re going to Arizona. Neither of us are from there, but his sister is there, the climate is nice, schools are good, job market is there.
Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been an easy decision to make. This is something we’ve been talkiing about for the past 6 or 7 years.
Please feel free to mail me ( ) if you have any qustions or just want to chat.
March 5, 2009, 5:18 pmMrs. Jent:
Be selfish, completely dis-guard your families. You two look around all the states you want, find a beautiful place that is well to raise children, something that is good for both your careers, building your life around your parents is a mistake, youre old enough to now, build your life around YOU. So like I said, you need to look and say, okay, I love… let’s say, california, and there is a city there PERFECT to raise a family, let’s check jobs and land or house prices… and go from there…. Even new mexico is packed with wonderful places, just make this decision FOR YOU and your future, not them.
March 7, 2009, 6:34 pmJdude:
If he’s going to be career military, it doesn’t matter where you will settle down. You will always be on the move.
If not career, then what will his job be in civilian sector. That will dicatate where.
March 8, 2009, 11:29 amExample:
Actor- Hollywood, Ca
Computer Engineer- San Jose, CA
Gov’t Liason- Washington DC
etc.
artillerywifecq77:
I would go where ever you can get the best jobs for the both of you, but still be somewhere between you parents. We are also in the military and separating after this deployment. We are moving to where ever we can make the most money and be happy, but still close to our parents (both are in the same area). This is a problem that only you can solve. Talk it over with him and make a mutual informed decision. If you life too close you your parents you may find that they are annoying and too involved in your marriage and childrearing, or you may get the support you are looking for. Talk it over with the husband and do what is best for your whole family.
March 9, 2009, 11:31 pmCOLLEEN M:
I really think one way to best base this decision aside from schools and jobs is were would you be able to afford . My family is about 60 miles from me and although my husband has been with the same company since before we met I probably still would have chosen the area he grew up in based solely on the fact that I can have three times the house here verses a smaller home with no land were I am originally from so I guess another factor could be who’s parents might need you more or first for that matter. But I agree you really do seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place GOOD LUCK
March 12, 2009, 7:47 amshadow p:
Hey Vato I guess I should say sorry for being a jerk before so I’ll answer this one with some actual thought can you find a half way point between the your family and his. The Midwest states do have a lower cost of living and is a good place for families. I was born and lived at Ft. Wood is Missouri and my parents settled in Springfield. (Their both from around here). And since you do get to move around alot is there any place you and your family just fell in love with and that might be another solution. Good luck.
March 15, 2009, 3:24 pm